Don't worry. I'm not dead. I went home this weekend and didn't have time to post anything. Not that anyone reads this, so nobody would be there to worry.....
Anyhoozle, my "human rhinovirus" that I had ended up being more than your average cold. I had... THE FLU. I think. Apparently that jackass I got stuck working with had THE FLU and gave it to me. Anybody here at MSU that ate the pizza I made, watch out for THE FLU. I probably got THE FLU all over the pepperoni pizza you ungrateful bastards guzzle down. YES I SAID GUZZLE. Guzzle is the best word ever. Besides plethora. That is probably the best word in the world. By the way, if anyone actually decides to read this, shoot me a tweet with your favorite weird word! I am @MyNameIsTurtle. Or you could comment. That's cool, too. By the way, I tweet weird/quirky/somewhat entertaining stuff throughout the day. Also I tweet stuff about how easily distracted I can be, things that happen to me on a daily basis, and weird conversations I have with friends/family.
Last night, a friend of mine and I had the strangest conversation ever. It was approximately 1am and my roommate decided to go to bed, but I was still wide awake because I had had about 10 cups of coffee and I was ready for a long night of bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet. But I didn't bounce. At all. That's weird. FYI she calls me House because I'm the rude, sarcastic person in our friendship, and I call her Wilson because she is shorter than me. (Yes I am that mean.) This was our conversation:
Me: "HI WILSON!"
Her: "HI HOUSE!!!!! :]"
Me: "My face feels funny. I think it's my beard."
Her: "Umm... Katie? I just got this weird image of you with a beard."
Me: "Pretty sexy, eh?"
Her: "It's kind of creepy.... What's it like having a beard?"
Me: "I have no idea."
Her: "It's probably like a forest! All itchy and stuff."
Me: "What?! How is a forest itchy?"
Her: "If all those trees and foliage were growing on your face you'd be itchy lol"
Me: "This is like talking to a 5-year old.... But growing trees on your face... you'd be crushed."
Her: "Mini ones! Point is! Facial hair is probably itchy!"
Me: "Your metaphor is too strange. I'm going to ask my guy friends if having facial hair is like having a miniature forest on their face."
Her: "YES. We need a full report!"
Then our conversation continued on for quite a while, but I am not re-typing it. The point is, we want to know what having a beard is like without having to inject ourselves with ridiculous amounts of testosterone. I approached some guy I barely know in class today and asked him what having a beard is like and that I would give him a stick of gum if he answered (if it isn't creepy enough that I asked what having facial hair is like). He told me it was itchy and that it made his face feel dirty. Another guy friend told me that it didn't feel like anything really, but if it rubbed against your neck it felt like a Brillo pad. I know that already! I've touched beards before! (That sounded awkward.) But I want to know what it feels like ON YOUR FACE WHERE IT IS GROWING. If you have a really bitchin' beard, comment and let me know! I'd send you a present, but I'm a dirt-poor college kid.
KTHXBAI
**EDIT** I just texted a friend of mine and we determined that having facial hair is like growing a shrub on your face. Then I molested his face through the phone. It was yet another strange conversation.
Thumbs up!
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