My Blog Name and its Origin

So my name that I guess I'm calling myself is The Turtle Lady. There are no obvious reasons why. I don't own a turtle, nor do I look or smell like one. Actually... that's kind of a terrifying thought. What if I do smell like a turtle and I just don't know it??? That's one of my biggest fears! You know how there are certain people in this world that just smell awful and don't seem to realize it because they don't ever do anything about it? What if I am one of those strangely repulsive-scented people??? It would explain my lack of boyfriend....

Anyway, enough with my paranoid ranting. That is not why I call myself Turtle. For some reason, whenever I have heard my last name, I have always thought of a turtle lying helplessly on its back trying to get back upright. My last name has nothing to do with turtles, wriggling, or movement of any kind, so I have no clue where that association came from, but it is the first thing that comes to mind, and it is the first thing that has come to mind since I was a young child.

To begin with the story, I must explain the reason why I have always taken in too much caffeine. When I was about 4 years old, my dad used to take my brother and me to a doughnut place every Sunday morning so my mom could have a break from us and sleep in. That was until the doughnut store was robbed and the owner was shot and killed. Now the doughnut place is an AT&T store. But that's another story for another time. As I was saying, I asked my dad if I could have a sip of his coffee because I was curious as to why people drank something that looked like hot diet coke. (I don't know why I thought it would taste like warm diet coke. I guess it's because that was the only soda in my house throughout my childhood.) My dad expected me to absolutely hate it, but he let me try some because he wanted to turn me off of coffee for the rest of my life. (He did the same with beer. That one actually worked.) I took a sip of his coffee. It was like.... scorching hot unicorn piss. I stole another sip. And another. Eventually my dad had to pry his coffee mug from my grubby little hands so I didn't drink it all and my mom wouldn't have to deal with a caffeinated 4-year-old. I was not allowed coffee again until I turned 12. Since then, I have steadily increased my caffeine intake, and now I drink about 4 cups of coffee per day.

So... in my junior year of high school, I was having a bad morning. I am NOT a morning person by any means, and I always sleep through my alarm at least twice per week. That one day was one of those mornings. I had coffee waiting for me downstairs, and I needed an extra pick-me-up that morning, so I drank about 6 cups. By my 3rd hour English class with one of my favorite teachers EVER, Mr. P., I was ready to bounce off the walls. I sat in my seat babbling away to a friend of mine about how weird words sound sometimes, and then I got to my last name. Peabody. My rant sounded like, "Ohmigawd what's with my name??? NO. DON'T ANSWER THAT. It reminds me of a turtle. Turtles are cool. I want one. MR. P!!!! DO YOU LIKE TURTLES!!!!" and then I pulled out my sketchbook and drew a full page of turtles doing random things, such as eating lettuce, dancing, sleeping, etc. I showed my teacher, and he called me a turtle because he's cool like that. Since then, he has called me Turtle. So have several of my friends that are my own age. So in reality, my blog name has nothing to do with turtles, and it has everything to do with my insane caffeine intake.