New Semester and Adventures in Chem Lab With A Professor Who Thinks I'm Crazy

Well, it's the beginning of a new semester and new things to procrastinate. My winter break was pretty awesome and very much appreciated. I am currently moved back into MSU and readjusting to actually having to wake up before 3 pm. It's crazy. I have to wake up at 8am every morning. On a side note, my roommate is blasting really shitty rap music, so if my grammar doesn't make much sense or is degrading toward women, that is probably why, ma bitches and hoeezzzz!!!11!

Oh thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster! She turned it off. I could feel my IQ points drifting away by the second.

I need to talk about my chemistry lab that happened on Tuesday. Labs in my college are three hours long and are worth only one credit, so I do most of my goofing off in that class. I have heard things about my professor, and a lot of that stuff was negative. I was told that he is extremely sarcastic and can say some really weird things. I immediately knew that I would get along with him very well. I have this horrifying ability to go back and forth with completely nonsensical banter that pushes boundaries and eventually ends rather awkwardly. For example, the following is a conversation I had with a friend through text:

Me: "HI! I miss you!"

Him: "I miss you too!"

Me: "I was too nervous to try to get your attention. See, I'm standing on a ladder outside your bathroom window. I was watching you shower."

Him: "That's really weird. I was just in the shower."

Me: "Yeah. I was watching!"

Him: "Oh! I see you now! Why are you not wearing pants?"

Me: "A bear ate them."

Him: "Nice underwear." (He then described my skivvies. Not super specifically, but it was oddly accurate.)

Me: "Okay. This just got too weird. You literally just told me exactly what underwear I'm wearing."

Him: "Seriously? What the hell..."

Me: "Alright. I have to go to sleep now. When I'm in town next, I'm going to come over and touch your face. Okay?"

Him: "Okay! See you then!"

Then we both stopped texting. I probably should have mentioned before the conversation, but he is gay... so it wasn't weird or anything.

I try to have this sort of conversations with other people, but they usually end extremely awkwardly, and I know that that person is not destined to be a friend of mine.

SO. My point.... I was getting to that. I figured that my professor would have a sense of humor and be as weird as I am because he had said some stuff in lecture that hinted to this particular personality quirk. My lab group and I were discussing the ozone hole in Antarctica when our professor approached us. I decided to use this time to try to see if we would get along.

Him: "So how will this affect the world?"

Me: "Well, we were just discussing how it would affect Australia."

Him: "Yes. Go on."

Me (sarcastically): "We determined that there would be an increase in skin cancer in kangaroos."

Him: "Kangaroos?"

Me: "Well, I would say Australian people, but really, I just care about the Roos."

Him: "Well, of course. However, there is a hole in your theory. Kangaroos wouldn't be as affected by the UV rays due to their fur."

Me: "Neither would Australians."

Him: "What?"

Me: "Australians are... a hairy people?"

Him: "What do you look at on the internet?"

Me: "Ummm... Nothing. I was... kidding. I promise I'm not really weird. Okay, I am, but... still."

Then he kind of looked at me like this:

Except he was much less pale and had way fewer ear piercings. Also he wasn't wearing mascara.

and walked away. Later, he came back to talk to me both in lab and again in lecture, so I have a feeling that it is going to be a good semester in chemistry. Another time, he overheard me being cruel to one of my friends because we have that sort of relationship.

Me *slapping her hand*: "NO! SHUT UP, WOMAN. YOU DON'T TALK."

Her *fake crying*: "I'M SORRY!!!!"

Professor: "Whoa, Kathryn! I hope you didn't just meet her!"

Me: "No, we're going to be roommates next year! We're friends."

Him: "Oh. Got it."

Me: "You already know my name? That was fast."

Him: "I try to learn everyone's names as fast as possible."

Me: "Well, my name isn't hard to forget. There are so many Katies and Kathryns out there that if you don't know someone's name, you can just guess Katie and odds are, you'll be right."

Him: "Unless it's a guy. That would just be weird."

Me *in my best manly voice*: "Yeah my name isn't Katie. It's Mike."

Him: "Well, it's a very common name. Close enough."

Then he wandered to the next group. He kept coming back to my group throughout lab. I like to think that it is because we were a very entertaining bunch of people. Maybe he just wanted to keep an eye on me in case I snapped and decided to set something/someone on fire. We'll find out soon enough!